29 Jul 2021

It’s nearly been two years since a close friend left us. You never prepare for something so unexpected to happen but when it does, your whole world collapses.

You’re thinking, “What was the last thing I said to them?”

“How do I go on with my life without you in it?”

Days turn into weeks, weeks turn into months, months turn into years, whole laps around the sun and it still all feels like a bad dream. You always remember the first time you heard they were gone. 

 

There may be days you’re missing everything about them. You reminisce about the times you were aimlessly chatting with them, you miss them on their birthday and every milestone that you experienced together. 

You’re left with memories of winning your first soccer game together, the first day you met in kindergarten, their first break-up and how they were there for yours.

You forget that their family is without them at Christmas and that they won’t be there to celebrate the New Years with you. 

Missing your best friend is a different type of sadness. It’s a loss you never thought in a million years that you’d have to face.

Their absence hurts. There’s nobody else you can share those inside jokes or memes with. You remember they won’t be there for your wins and for when you need them most. You go to gatherings and parties and forget they’re not there, there’s an empty space that nobody else can replace.

Not a day goes by without you thinking of them. Suddenly, their most irritating and annoying habits that used to irk you, you miss. You remember their best traits, their not so good ones and know that you would trade anything to have them back.

Whenever you listen to a new album you think they’d like or play a new game you know they would’ve gotten excited about - you’re left with an empty feeling.

You think about all the times that you could have spent together, what you missed out on together and how their time on earth ended too soon, knowing that their whole life was waiting for them.

You think about why someone who had so much to give the world has been taken from us. You’re constantly remembering how their presence and caring soul used to brighten up everyone’s day.

There is no one coping mechanism to deal with the painful loss. Everyone deals with grief differently. But when something so tragic happens, you’re reassured that life is never promised or guaranteed. We are taught from a young age that death is a part of our lives but when it does happen to someone close, it doesn’t make losing a loved one any easier. They’re gone but never, ever forgotten.