21 Jul 2021

Seeing as my dad was in countless bands (all with bangin' names like Moon Belly, No More Crime and The Headless Equestrians which later turned into The Legless Pedestrians... Iconic), his second home was the music store. As a lil' bub, he'd be carrying me whilst sussing out the freshest guitars, drum kits, and amps.

 

At three years old, I pointed to a violin and his musical heart filled with joy. Instead of buying the new guitar strings that he needed, he bought me the smallest violin you've ever seen. I was suddenly getting violin lessons before I could speak properly and performing at concerts and eisteddfods before I started school.

My life surrounded my violin for years. I couldn't hang at my friends' place on Tuesdays and Thursdays after school because I had violin lessons and I would eat breakfast quickly every morning so that I could practice my new pieces. I adored my violin so much that sometimes I wanted to keep it in my bed with my whilst I slept. 

Everyone assumed the violin is would be what I pursue a career out of. It seemed that it was all mapped out for me: I'd study at a conservatorium, join an orchestra and keep performing day in and day out.

But in year 12, after 14 years of playing the violin, I made the radical leap to apply to film schools instead. My parents were a little confused, my violin teacher (who'd been teaching me since I was five) was pretty gutted and my friends were taken aback. Huh?

I'm struggling to put this into words because my violin is like another limb. As stupid as this might sound, I wanted to keep it almost sacred. Something that I didn't rely on to pay the bills, something I didn't have to do day in and day out, something that I could do purely for fun.

I got pretty burnt out in high school when I was having to practice for hours on end, grinding to learn new pieces, scraping the skin off my fingers practicing the same bar again and again. There were always concerts, competitions, examinations and events that were exhausting. 

The vibes just felt weird to me. It felt like I was squeezing dry my passion, not leaving enough room for inspiration and amusement. In year 12, I made the decision that the violin would be something I can come home to after a rough day of work. Something I can do for a little colour in my day, a little creativity and imagination. Something I can keep learning, completely for myself. 

It's easy to fall into the trap of life that encourages us to achieve, succeed, grind until we're at the top. How many YouTube ads do you see of that guy standing in front of his mansion saying; "I used my hobby to become rich!". But I don't want the violin to make me rich. I don't want to play it just for audiences. I wanna play it for me.

I leant towards another hobby (filmmaking) because I thought it was something new, something I hadn't been doing since I was three and something that I could incorporate my passion for music in. You best believe the main character of the screenplay I'm working on right now is a violinist, so I can live through them.

I think that your hobbies bleed into your work and life one way or another anyway. But I don't think you need to pursue them. It's nice having something precious that you do completely for yourself.

Now I'm off to go play some violin. 😘