Should I Make The First Move?

So, you’ve caught feelings for someone. You’re crushing hard and you think there’s a chance they like you back, but you’re not 100% sure that they feel the same way. So then comes the age old question: Should I make the first move? Or do I hold off and see if they make one first. 

There really is no right or wrong answer, but here are a bunch of questions you can ask yourself to help make the decision a little easier.
 

Do they actually seem interested?

Sometimes when we’re crushing on someone, it’s easy to mistake general niceties for them liking you back. Now, I’m not saying you should only tell someone how you feel about them if you’re 100% certain they like you too. But if they’ve given you zero reason to think they might be into you, then making a move might not end the way you’re hoping for. 

But how do you even tell if someone likes you? Some signs are: 1. They go out of their way to hang out with you. 2. They make any excuse to touch you pysically whether that's "accidentally" brushing up against you or even the good old "let's see how different our hands are in size." And 3. They make sarcastic jokes about the two of you being together e.g. "What if we were together, haha jks... Unless? Haha." It's also worth sussing out whether they only act this way around you, or whether they're just a flirty person.
 

Are they shy?

Making a move, or asking someone out is never a walk in the park. It’s even less of a walk in the park if you’re shy. So if the person you’ve got your eye on is a bit of an introvert, you may never know if they like you unless you make the first move. 

So this is an area where extroverts have to step up. If you thrive in social situations and always seem to find the right words to say, do the introverts a favour and make that move! High chance they really like you but they just can’t bring themselves to do anything about it. 
 

Will making a move ruin the relationship you already have with them?

If the person you’re crushing on is already a friend, you might want to think about how it would affect your existing relationship if you made a move and they didn’t feel the same way. If they’re your lifelong best friend and you’re worried that telling them how you feel will ruin that friendship, then you have to weigh up whether it’s worth the risk.

If you're in the same friend group, remember that you'll probably have to see them every day for the next few years which could get a little awks. That said, going from friends to lovers is really common. I mean, you want to be with someone you like hanging out with anyway, right? 
 

Are you prepared to be rejected?

This could seem like a pessimistic take, but there’s a big difference between being prepared to be rejected and actually expecting it. More than anything, just remember that there’s a possibility that things won’t go to plan, and you need to be okay with that. Of course, it’s natural that you’ll be upset, but you need to respect their decision if it doesn’t go as planned. 
 

Are you going to regret not making a move?

This is the biggest consideration out there. People always say, it’s not the things you do that you regret in life, it’s the things you don’t. So if you think you’ll be kicking yourself down the track if you don’t shoot your shot, then there’s your answer. 
 

Like the Pirate Code in Pirates of the Caribbean, these questions are more like guidelines rather than rules. But taking a second to ponder them might make it easier to decide whether or not you should make the first move.

My final piece of advice is, if you’re still on the fence after going through these questions, you should absolutely do it! It could be the best thing you ever do.