15 Mar 2023 | 5 mins
Overview
  • Sliding into someone’s Insta DMs is hard. But doing it in person is ten times more nerve-wracking.
  • If you’re crushing on someone but you’re keen to build a connection offline, here’s a few tips.

You’ve probably mastered the art of sliding into people’s DMs, but are you confident doing it IRL? In other words, how do you find a way to talk to someone that you find attractive in person? Way, way easier said than done I have to say. Talking to people can feel scary, especially people that you find attractive. There is no denying that. But here are a couple of ways to approaching that special someone to help the conversation flow:

Be confident (fake it 'til you make it): 

Keep in mind that although it can be frightening, everyone is human, and there is no reason to be intimated. Having a bit of confidence, even if it is fake, can really take you a long way. 

People genuinely love it when you can come up to them and strike up a chat. Aiming to be a light, confident and positive person can be a really comforting thing for other people around you to feel confident in speaking up and contributing to the conversation. It just really lightens up the mood. 

On top of this, if you find someone attractive or you have feelings for someone, don’t let time get away or the chance with them slip out of your fingers due to a lack of self-confidence. I know it can be hard but I promise it can be so rewarding, and I’m sure whoever the lucky person is, they would absolutely love it.

Once again we're all just little humans living life; so why not live this life with a bit of exciting romance?
 

Find similar interests:

If you can find a few things that you both have in common, you’ve basically just unlocked unlimited convo starters that you’ll both be able to chat about for hours. You might already know a few things they’re interested in from previous conversations, or some of the things they post on social media.

If you’re looking for a few ideas, music, movies, TV shows, books, sports and art are all great places to start. I’d recommend against lying about things you like to impress them, because if things go further, you’ll just have to keep pretending to like them. But if they have interests you don’t know a lot about, it won’t hurt to look into them and see if they’re the type of thing you can get around. 

Ask open-ended questions to keep that convo flowing:

If you’re ever slid into someone’s DMs over Insta you would know how crucial asking the right questions is in actually keeping the chat interesting. Try to spice up the questions a bit rather than just the same old, “How are you?” “What do you do for work?” or “Where are you from?” 

Instead try things like, “What is your favourite memory?” “What's your favourite song?” or “What’s your favourite movie?”

Be careful with this one though. I'm warning you now that talking to someone about things they love and seeing the way it lights them up will make you so much more attracted to them.
 

Show interest in what they’re talking about:

Of course, listening to someone talk about things they love is super attractive but being a good listener is just as important. There is nothing more likeable than when you can tell a person is showing genuine interest in what you’re talking about. The best people to have a conversation with are the ones who are actively showing they find what you’re talking about engaging, and they care about what you have to say. 

This is what forms the basis of true human connection and helps you to really get to know someone and all the little things they love.

A piece of advice I once heard which I will never forget is, “so many people are listening to you, only thinking about what they are going to say next. It’s so important to find people who truly listen to you.” Hearing this made me realise how special it is to make sure the people you are talking to know that you appreciate what they are talking about. 

Remember to always keep yourself on the same level to someone when you are talking to them, and keep your eyes open to the fact that you can most likely learn something from them.
 

Be respectful:

Being respectful is possibly the most important thing when chatting to someone you like IRL. If you want to make a good impression, you have to make sure the person you fancy is comfortable when you talk to them. For example, don’t start the convo with any gross or sexual pick up lines. They never work and they’re just going to make them feel uncomfortable and a bit icky. 

While shooting your shot is defs encouraged, you also have to know when that shot has missed, and respect that. If they seem like they aren’t too keen to keep the convo going, that’s okay. Rejection is a part of life, and everyone has to learn how to deal with it in a healthy way. So if they try to wrap the convo up, don’t try to clutch at it by bringing up a new topic. 

Going up to someone you like IRL and chatting to them can be pretty nerve-wracking. But if you want to have a memorable interaction with someone you’re crushing on, there’s no better way to make that happen. Chatting to them IRL shows (or at least makes it look like) you have confidence, and will show them that you’re genuinely interested in what they have to say – and people love that. Besides, at the end of the day, it’s also just a cute, romantic thing to do.