02 Mar 2018

I’m calling it- you need to stop missing people who don’t care about you. And trust me, I know they don’t care.

There’s a reason they’re not replying to your messages and leaving you on read. There’s a reason they’re not making time to see you, or constantly have an excuse when you try and make plans.

I get it. You miss talking to them. You miss staying up late messaging and having conversations when you’re half asleep and barely making sense. You miss watching movies with them and laughing at inside jokes. You miss going for late night drives and being able to tell them about your day.

But it doesn’t matter how much you miss them if they do nothing about it. At the end of the day, there’s only so much effort you can put in before you have to take a step back and save some energy for yourself.

Sometimes, they’ll remind you of the good old days. They’ll say something, and just for a second, it’ll feel like it did before. You’ll manage to trick yourself that it is like before, that things will be the same, regardless of the way they’ve been treating you.

Trust me though, nothing will change. They will continue to be too busy for you and put you at the bottom of their list of priorities. They will continue to leave your message for days, or tell you that just don’t have time.

And this is the point where you need to realise that caring about them is a waste of energy. That for every second you spend thinking about them, they are thinking about something else. You are missing them, but they aren’t missing you.

For whatever reason, we get ourselves hooked on people even when we know they’re not worth our time. We put ourselves through the hurt that comes with chasing people that don’t give a shit about us. It sucks, but it’s unavoidable.

The truth is, people change and you will lose them through no fault of your own. Significant relationships will crumble into nothing and there will be nothing you can do to fix it.

What you need to understand is that once you recognise that this has happened, that things have fallen apart, all you can do is move on. Don’t let it hold you back or keep you down. They don’t care about you at all; carry on with your work and focus on your goals because you have things to do and no time to waste on people like that.

One of the hardest things you will have to during your teenage years is learn to be okay with people who will still be right in front of you. You will learn what it’s like to grieve for people who are still living. It will hurt and you’ll question what you did wrong or how you messed up. The honest truth? You probably didn’t do anything wrong and there was no way you could change how things happened.

Please trust me when I say that the way you’re feeling is temporary. There will be days where you miss them more than anything and all you can think about is the last conversation you had, or the last text they sent. You will wake up and they will be the first thing you think of and it will feel like the pain of losing them them will never end.

But one day–maybe not tomorrow, and maybe not even in a week or a month–but one day, you’re going to wake up and wonder why you ever missed them in the first place.