So, you’ve fallen out of love. It happens.
Maybe you’ve realised you’re just not that compatible, maybe you’re stressed about school. Possibly things have been going downhill for a while now. Maybe you’ve fallen for someone else.
Whatever the reason, you’ve made up your mind and now it’s time to call it off.
But there’s one problem:
They're still in love with you.
They still love you and you’re about to cause them a serious amount of emotional pain. No matter which way you look at it, there’s just no way to do this without ripping their life apart. It’s going to fucking suck.
And trust us, we know you didn’t mean to fall out of love. You don’t want to hurt them–you just want things to go back to how they were before you started dating.
The harsh reality is that things aren’t going to just magically revert to the way they were, and when you finally do the deed, you’re going to feel bad about it. Really bad. But the other person is going to feel even worse.
Fortunately, there are a bunch of things you can do to make this break up as pain-free and as smooth as possible.
1. Do it in person
There is nothing more crushing than the one you love telling you it’s over via a phone call. Actually, yes there is: when they do it via a text message. Don’t even fucking think about sending them a Snapchat. After all you’ve been through together, at least have the dignity to tell them face-to-face. Your time together was worth more than a DM.
2. Let the right people know
No, don’t tweet it. Don’t run around the quad telling everyone in your year. Don't post a black screen on your Insta story with a broken heart. Be as discreet about the whole thing as possible.
While we’re on the matter–don’t tell their friends before you do it. What if you chicken out? Then everybody knows except them, which is even more humiliating. Wait until afterwards if you're going to share it, for god’s sake.
3. Give them space & chill out on social media
Okay, you’ve broken up with them. Now stay the hell away. The last thing they need right now is to be reminded of you. Give them space–the less they see of you, the faster they’ll move on.
Same goes for socials, don't send them your daily Snapchat, don't message them a meme you think is funny and don't tag them in anything. You don't need to block them (but it usually doesn't hurt), just don't be surprised if they block you either.
4. Commit to the break up
Please understand that once you’ve broken up with them, it’s over. Don’t send them a message that night saying asking how they're feeling or what their plans for the weekend are. Don’t act like nothing has even happened. Show them some respect and let them deal with this in their own time and in their own way.
Don't fuck around with their feelings because there's nothing worse than going through a break up, getting back together and then going through it all over again just because one person bailed on their decision.
5. Fucking do it already
If you’ve decided you’re going to do it, do it. Don’t lead them on any longer. It’s going to be a shit time, but putting it off won’t make it suck any less. Save the procrastination for your English essay that's due next week.
There is no ‘right way’ to do a break up, but some ways are definitely better than others. By following the steps above, you’ll be sure to minimise the amount of pain inflicted on both yourself and your soon-to-be-insignificant other.
If you’re feeling down, always speak to someone you know and trust who can help you through this rough time. It's never fun ending a relationship but you've gotta trust your gut and do whatever you think is best.
by Damon Twight