28 Jul 2019

Breakups are always rough. There’s nothing more painful than realising one of the most important people in your life isn’t going to be around anymore.

It doesn’t matter how many memories you made or how many times you made each other laugh; it doesn’t matter how much someone just got you or how many nights you spent staying up late so you could reply to their messages. Sometimes someone you just clicked with turns out to be wrong for you and it’s only afterward that you notice all the red flags you ignored while you were having fun with them.

Because of this, it’s understandable that you’re not going to feel great. It’s okay to feel sad, but if you’re going to get through this breakup, you can’t let yourself stay in the sadness forever. Here’s what you need to do instead.

1. Ignore ‘em

I know it’s tempting to message them (especially if they’re still constantly trying to talk to you) but trust me when I say, you need to cut them off.

Get rid of their number, leave any messages on read and ignore their calls. Delete their profile on your Netflix account (and change your password) and don’t reply if they send you memes. Don’t listen to them if they try and apologize (it’s too late for that now) and don’t play into any of their messages of ‘I’m sorry’, ‘let’s get back together’ or ‘I made a mistake.’

 

2. Blast some tracks

Sure, sometimes you need to listen to Adele while driving around at night in the rain, tears streaming down your face as you imagine that you'll never find love again. But this isn't one of those times.

You need to be blasting some tunes which reflect the fact that you've just seized back control of your own life (like this banger from Kota Banks), which you can sing along to at the top of your lungs, and dance around the room with your best friend.

If you wanna come out of this breakup on top, you need to give the sad love songs a rest (at least for a little while). This means less James Blunt (seriously, stop listening to ‘Goodbye My Lover’ on repeat), and more, no-regrets, owning-life tunes you can relate to, and feel good about it.

3. Keep busy

Binge the last season of Stranger Things that you never got a chance to watch because your ex didn’t like it. Pick up the extra shift at work, go to the gym for the first time in forever, get started on that essay you’ve been procrastinating and clean out your room.

You will suddenly have a whole bunch of commitment-free time that you can spend doing whatever you want. This is bloody exciting, but it can also be terrifying if you let yourself sit still for too long. Enjoy the fact that it’s completely up to you to decide how you want to spend your time.

4. See your friends

The benefits of this are two-fold – not only do you get to hang around your mates that love you, but you also get to talk endlessly about all the terrible things your ex did with people who will always be on your side.

Go to the movies together, watch Netflix and just hang out. Message your mates every time you feel like messaging your ex and remind yourself of what it feels like to be around people who won’t play with your feelings. You deserve to be surrounded by people who remind you to love yourself.

5. Love yourself

Lovin’ yourself is key to getting over any breakup and through it all, you’ve got to remember that you’re worth more than crappy behavior in a bad relationship. It’s okay to have bad days – no one feels great every minute of their life but find ways to get yourself through them. Listen to songs that gee you up – there’s nothing better than a banger like I’m It if you need a lil pep talk on a bad day. Write yourself a note on your phone of all your achievements that you can read when you’re feeling down to remind yourself of how much you’re killin’ it. Loving yourself isn’t cocky – it’s necessary.

Getting out of a relationship isn’t easy but it’s also the perfect chance to start putting yourself first. It’s about time you prioritized your happiness and self-worth – beyond other people’s opinions and attention.

That’s what artists like Kota Banks are all about (and 20 Missed Calls and I’m It are perfect for anyone going through a breakup)– so what are you waiting for? Round up your mates, blast some songs on full volume and remind yourself of how bloody amazing you really are.