26 Dec 2021
Overview
  • As urban dictionary so perfectly says: 'The chase is one person's romantic pursuit of another, oftentimes not fueled by an actual desire for a relationship'
  • I realised that movies at fault for my love of the chase - now that I'm self-aware, my love life has been a lot better

No, I'm not referring to like, running. If I liked that sorta chase, I'd be a lot fitter. Nor am I talking about the game show. 

As urban dictionary so perfectly says: 'The chase is one person's romantic pursuit of another, oftentimes not fueled by an actual desire for a relationship'. And for some reason, I've always been obsessed with the thrill of it. We're even told to play hard to get: "don't message back straight away", "pretend you can't go on a date this weekend to seem busy", because as humans, we love a chase, a challenge. We love what we can't have... 🥵

@hannahharrell

the chase🥵🤷🏼‍♀️ idc

♬ Beat it but REVERBED - BlaineAdamsHere

In the early stages of getting whipped on someone, your brain releases chemicals like dopamine, adrenaline, epinephrine, and norepinephrine. This basically means that you feel happy and euphoric. Buuuut, once the high is over, the relationship might be too. For me, it's like I snap back to reality. I stop making scenarios in my head, I no longer get giddy when I see them, I stop thinking about them really - the thrill shatters.

You know what I think my downfall was? Movies. Bridget Jones' Diary. She's The Man. Clueless... The love interest was attained at the very end. Then 'cut to black', we walk away with that euphoric feeling still with us. We long for a love story like that - a chase! 

But what happens after the credits roll? Why is it that in so many movies, we don't start with couples? We start with people that could make a good couple...?

I only just realised that after watching all these movies, I started treating potential love interests as characters - projecting how I thought they were onto them. Putting them up on a pedestal.

Then, when I actually got to know them, I'd realise that they aren't godlike (ugh... no one is). They're not how I imagined. And that's not their fault, that's alllll my psycho fault.

@ellacookswrld

hashtag i just like the chase

♬ original sound - 🪳

For some, they may like the chase because they aren't ready to commit to a relationship. And that's okay! For me, I realised that it just wasn't real. The chase was all in my head. I was putting ridiculous expectations on people I hardly knew and getting disappointed when they didn't meet them. My imagination is just too powerful.

At the end of the day, it doesn't matter whether you're in a relationship or not. But I'm kinda fatigued from the chase. I guess it is a bit of a workout in your mind 😂 

Now, I know not to make up a whole person in my head and just take them in how they really are. Become aware of why you love the chase. It might just give you a break!