25 Dec 2019

Everyone working in customer service dreads Boxing Day. The onslaught of frazzled customers, barging into each other like sale-obsessed zombies, carelessly tearing apart the souls of every poor worker. 

If you're a customer on Boxing Day, have mercy. If you're working Boxing Day...prepare yourself.

1. The intense bargain hunter

They have a determination in their eyes that will make any customer service worker quiver. They will buy sale items in bulk for gods knows why and will bombard you with questions, making you repetitively check the storeroom if you have more dresses or candles...

If they have a trolley, beware! They won't hesitate to jam you in the shins if you get in their way.

2. The ones who got a little too lit on Christmas

Christmas for some is a big ol' piss up. Their drabby attire, scat nature and slow walking indicates that they are savagely hungover, perhaps still drunk. They were dragged out to snatch some sales yet they'd rather be wasting away inside, curtains closed and watching NETFLIX like a vegetable.

3. The one who forgot Boxing Day was a big deal

They are confused that it took them an hour to find a park and perplexed by the long lines in every store. Why are there so many sales? Why are there so many people? A lightbulb will finally switch on as they remember that Boxing Day sales are the most hectic shopping day of the year. They will quickly retreat back to the car, scared of the mayhem they're witnessing.

4. The one who doesn't need your help

When you work in customer service, you learn that you have to make your presence known and greet every patron, asking them if they need help. There will always be customers that freeze up as if you've killed their cat and either ignore you, storm off or declare rigidly "I don't need help". 

You want to put your arms up in surrender. Alright alright mate, I wasn't asking for your left kidney, I'm just paid to ask you if you need assistance.

5. The bored partners

Lmao. Shout out to my dad Glen who stands out the front of every store as my mum searches for some bargains. The novelty of boxing day sales fades away real quick and he slowly becomes mum's camel, lugging her bags from store to store and giving minimal opinions. "Yes, that looks nice". 

6. The ones who buy Christmas presents after Christmas

They've taught their kids that Santa doesn't come to them until Boxing Day and reap the benefits of buying for everything 50% off. They will be scavenging around like headless chickens with a list of things to buy for their parents and friends. They don't mind waiting an extra day to buy presents for everyone since they'll save a few hundred dollars in the process.

7. The broke splurgers

They're utterly broke after Christmas yet they still want to capitalise on the sales. They are the customers that won't check their bank balance before they get to the counter and make everyone in line behind them wait as they transfer from different accounts or split the payment between cash and 2 cards.

8. The lingerer

They're like a lost puppy, aimlessly walking around looking dazed and confused. They will get in the way of everyone, staring at items as if they're analysing art in a museum. They aren't going to buy anything and yet they'll spend all day going from store to store.

9. The one returning all their gifts

Their picky nature gets the best of them every Christmas so every gift they received that included a receipt is being returned for either store credit or cash. They'll spend the day shopping for things they actually want.

10. People making up for shitty presents

So here's a scenario. A guy has given his girlfriend a present for Christmas that he thinks is a hoot and a half. It's an inside joke that probably cost $7. His girlfriend has bought him a new guitar... His gifts looks like absolute BS and now he is guilty AF. He will spend the day trying to make amends and finding anything he can to buy a better present. He will probably be quite erratic and lost and needs to help of any customer service, asking for opinions.

"Do you think my girlfriend will like this?"

So there are just some of the many wild and wacky people you will experience if you work Boxing Day. Now, it will be an avalanche of crappy customers but I'll leave you with this...

Double time pay baby. YEEHAW!