11 Apr 2017

If you’ve watched 13 Reasons Why, you’ll know that it offers an intense and heartbreaking look into the life of Hannah Baker and everyone around her. From the very first ep, we are confronted with Hannah’s death and the grief that has resulted from her suicide. The series doesn’t hold back- diving head first into themes of rape, depression, mental health, bullying and assault. And for good reason. The story offers a glimpse into the world of high school and teenagers which can be raw and brutal. It’s no wonder that the show is so popular- it unashamedly explores the struggles faced by many in a way that most shows wouldn’t dare touch, and there’s a lot we can learn from Hannah Baker and her tragic story.

The bad guys don’t always look like monsters

We think we know the bad guys. They are the ones in dark hoods with guns in their hands, laughing manically to an evil plan. They are the ones who murder without reason, who kill innocent people and shoot at the good guys. They are the creeps who leer at you when it’s late and dark. They are the strangers who snatch children from the street. But 13 Reasons Why shows us that the bad guy isn’t always the one in a mask or balaclava. He can be the one who will walk down the hall beside us, shoot us a smile and nudge us on the shoulder before class. He can be the one who’s surrounded by a group of friends and will do anything to make sure his best mate stays out of trouble. For Hannah, the monster didn’t have red eyes and long claws. Her monster was Bryce and the Bryce’s of the world who hide their wolf teeth behind charming eyes and cheeky smiles.

Even the ‘good guys’ can have bad moments

13 Reasons Why shows us that even Clay, the ‘good guy’, who Hannah reveals isn’t to blame, has his bad moments. He stands by and watches when Hannah is teased; stands idle when she desperately needs someone to step in and be there for her. He listens to the rumours and makes sly comments rather than stepping out and standing up. The harsh reality is Clay is all of us, at one point or another. Clay and, even characters like Mr Porter who fail to help Hannah, are important reminders that responsibility remains, regardless of whether you’re sitting on the sideline.

Don’t wait

There will be someone who makes your heart race and you will be distracted by the perfect time and the perfect moment. Don’t wait. If Clay and Hannah have taught us anything, it’s that you never know how limited your time is. Spill confessions from your lips like it’s your only chance to say them. Ignore the reality of rejection. Tell people how much they mean to you- your best friend, your mum, your little brother- quickly and spontaneously. Don’t wait. One day the moment will be gone; you will forget what it felt like to think someone was the sun and you won’t have the words to describe it.

We need to talk about mental health more

More than that obligatory PDHPE lesson. More than a single day when we ask our friends if they’re okay. It needs to be constant- a never-ending dialogue that prompts conversations and requests for help. A dialogue that teaches us how to listen to others, how to offer support and real help to anyone who is struggling. Hannah fell through the cracks- and her story is a reminder that kids fall through the cracks every single day. Do not let your mouth be glued shut with silence.

Be kind to people

Hannah’s story has taught us that you never know what someone is going through. It’s easy to look back on her through the series and see the signs that she was struggling; hindsight is 20/20. But on the surface, Hannah lived the lie that she was ‘fine’, a lie that we’ve all heard, and maybe even told, before.

Watching 13 Reasons Why, you’ll be confronted with the fact that you, or your best friend, or someone you know has gone through the same thing, and maybe they made it through okay. Or maybe they didn’t. You might fall into the trap of thinking that this is just the harsh reality of high school, that life is shit and that’s just the way it goes. But this is the attitude that let Hannah’s downward spiral go unnoticed, that let the little things snowball into something so much bigger and more monstrous than a seventeen-year-old girl could handle. Because the truth is, you never know how something will affect someone. You never know how close to home a joke will hit, or how much a throwaway comment will hurt someone else. Be kind to people.