Boys Don't Cry

Boys don’t cry. I sure as hell don’t. There’s nothing more embarrassing then crying in front of your mates, or when someone can see red in your eyes.

That’s why we just don’t do it.

Boys might cry but men sure as hell don’t. I don’t know about you but I’m no boy. I can handle it when things get heavy; I just get over it and move on. There’s no point dwelling on stuff that’s already happened.

My mates don’t cry either. People are intimidated by us and we’re not about to lose respect by having one of us break down like a wimp in front of everyone. What good could come out of crying anyway? You just embarrass yourself and everyone thinks you’re being a wuss.

Have a look at everything you’ve just read. What a load of bs it all is. 

Of course boys cry. Human beings cry. From the moment they’re born to their final moments of life, humans cry. Boys, girls, men, women, and everything in between. People cry, grieve, weep, snivel, and feel depressed. And for good reason: bad stuff happens.

Suffering is a huge part of life and it’s ridiculous to ignore it. From getting a bad mark in a test, to having a broken heart, to losing a friend or a family member, to feeling like you are completely lost in the world. We all experience negative emotions.

When you’re feeling bad, the worst possible thing you can do to yourself is to bottle it up; to not even acknowledge it. Keeping your feelings to yourself is like when you’re holding in laughter and it just makes you want to laugh more. Holding onto sadness just multiplies it, making you miserable. No wonder people feel trapped.

I think one of the main reasons people don’t express sadness or grief is that they fear the consequences of doing so. What would their mates think? And if you cried in front of your parents, they’d probably freak out and be checking up on you for months. Who are you supposed to turn to?

Of course, it should be your mates. That’s what they’re there for. How on earth could a group of mates function without each other’s support? Without backing each other you’re not a group; you’re just a bunch of individual guys hanging out in the same area.

Sure, you support each other on the footy field and it’s cool when they do well at school and stuff. But if your mate breaks down in tears in the middle of your group, are you one of the ones who are there for him, or do you walk away shaking your head?

If you’ve noticed that none of your mates ever express any of the bad things going on in their lives to you or each other, how do you know how they’ll react if you gave it a try?

Unfortunately, you don’t know. But what you do know is that if they don’t offer you their support, they’re not really your mates. Anyone who’s too tough to acknowledge sadness or offer some compassion is even more scared than you are.

Vulnerability is a huge part of relationships. The more you put on the line, the more you get out of a friendship. If you have a mate who you know you could just break down into tears in front of and not feel a hint of self-consciousness or embarrassment, then you’ve got yourself a true friend.

And I’m not saying you have to physically cry to find this support. No need to force tears out of your eyes; just being able to open up to your mates is so important and it’s important that your mates feel comfortable to do the same with you.

If you can let someone know that you’re feeling down and talk a situation over, it’s astounding how much better you’ll feel afterwards. And if someone’s opening up to you, you don’t have to say much. Just let them express themselves and make them feel as comfortable to do so as possible. It works wonders.

Feeling down at the moment? Reach out to these guys for a chat. 

Lifeline 13 11 14

Kids Helpline 1800 551 800

MensLine Australia 1300 789 978

Beyond Blue 1300 22 46 36

Headspace 1800 650 890