Be A Man

“Be a man.”

You ever heard that one? I don’t know about you, but that phrase annoys me so much; especially when used in the wrong context - which is majority of the time. 

Not strong enough? Be a man. Too scared to do something? Be a man. Someone peer pressuring you into doing something you don’t wanna do? Be a man. Showing your emotions? Be a man. 

This phrase is used in often meaningless circumstances, but can make ya feel absolute rubbish.

Whether this is said as banter between the boys or it's meant as an insult, we have to put a stop to using these words.

I really believe this needs to be said. These words and expressions impact young men’s mental health while misunderstanding the word 'man’ actually means. This causes a snowball effect, where  younger blokes are using it as they grow up.

The most recognised understanding of the word ‘man’ in Aussie culture is that masculinity is based around a bloke’s ability to be physically strong and essentially fearless. Willing to harm themselves, mentally or physically, to get a laugh out of the boys or to get self-validation from others.

This is a recipe for poor mental health, just tryna fit in with the crowd. Manhood is not based on a guy’s physical strength or a need to seek validation from other people.

THIS NEEDS TO BE RECOGNISED.

People suffering from mental health, particularly in teenagers and young adulthood, is already way too common. This is one of the many factors threatening their self-esteem.

A true indicator of manhood can’t be seen just by looking at someone. 

A bloke can have the biggest guns that he flexes on the daily and can still be a boy. A bloke can skull 30 VBs in two minutes and still be a boy. A bloke can say “be a man” and still be a boy.

See, a man is a bloke who can support and care for those around him without building themselves up by putting others down. A man supports his family and friends in everything, and won't ditch when it becomes inconvenient for them. 

When I was describing the Aussie culture’s perception of ‘man’, I said that it can be based on them being “essentially fearless”. I mention this because I believe that this is partially true. A man shouldn’t be fearless, but instead courageous in their approach to situations that relate to their loved ones.

They also have the ability to be vulnerable in these relationships. They display their emotions, explain their feelings and try to articulate what they're thinking. To all the blokes out there, don't be afraid to show those feelings. Crying doesn’t make you weak – it’s a natural way the human body displays emotion, so don’t hold it back. It's what humans do. Do this and you’re bound to make lasting relationships.

If you recognise that you do this, mate, you’re a bloody legend. Seeing this in other people is just as important, especially if you’re hoping to make strong relationships that last long-term. 

I get that it’s easier said than done, especially when being pressured into doing things by your mates, but these little steps are massive for yourself and those you care about.

Written By Max Byrne

Year13 encourages anyone struggling to speak out about your mental health and seek help if you need it:

Lifeline 13 11 14

Kids Helpline 1800 551 800

MensLine Australia 1300 789 978

Suicide Call Back Service 1300 659 467

Beyond Blue 1300 22 46 36

Headspace 1800 650 890