26 Apr 2017

Unless you’ve just packed up and moved to North Korea and have no access to Facebook or literally any other form of internet, you’re well aware that 13 Reasons Why is the new black. The book-turned-Netflix-Series (thanks Sel Go) has been all anyone can talk about. The premise? To start a conversation.

And yes, while conversation is great, the wrong conversation can be painfully detrimental and just like Hannah Baker, sometimes permanent. I’ve heard people talk about the rumour that Alex and Justin were together IRL, how ‘the list’ should be viewed as a compliment, how Tony is the biggest wannabe T-Bird in the world and the worst of all–how Hannah was a ‘whiney, self-absorbed, 16-year-old girl’.

Like everyone, I was 16 once. I was filled with the same teen angst, self-hatred and I too wanted to change everything about myself. On top of that, I was a 16-year-old girl that wrote. Everything was dramatic, everything was significant enough to be world-ending, and every person in my life had the potential to be a good story to me. High school was all I knew and it was all-consuming, as it is for most.

Personally, I was surrounded by good and positive people. My parents were good and positive. My friends were good and positive. My school wasn’t a place that bred negativity (in my opinion). They’re benefits that I and many are lucky to have at any point in life, but especially during puberty when we are experiencing (for lack of a better term) inner turmoil. To me, this is ‘the standard’ or ‘the norm’.

What Hannah’s character went through, is far beyond ‘the norm’ because she had the addition of a mental illness.

Mental illness isn’t logical. It’s not forgiving and definitely isn’t pardoning to the mind it’s controlling. It is relentless in its form and its sole purpose is to diminish the host. Some are lucky and can reach out before it festers even more. Some have a personality that grants them the strength to speak freely without fear of judgement or prejudice to friends, family and professionals.

Mental illness is different in every single case because every single person is different. In the case of Hannah Baker, the things that were happening to her no matter how major or minor they appear to anyone else was major enough to her.

Some of you may sit there and say ‘the tapes were still OTT’… but I disagree. Hannah had one friend she could rely on (and then started to like the guy), her parents were facing a loss of business, she had experienced sexual harassment/abuse/assault from more than one person, public embarrassment, being stalked, having her sexuality used against her, guilt over the STOP sign, having her counsellor tell her to let it pass AND the final, most significant factor, a mental illness (!!!).

Even just one of the above are reasons are enough to seek help. Some people write notes–she recorded some tapes to let people know they let her down.

You aren’t Hannah. I’m not Hannah. Literally, no one is Hannah because she’s fictional (the whole show is, in fact, fictional). But ‘Hannah’ represents a portion of people in this world who’re struggling and suffering. And those people, just as unsuspecting as Hannah, could be anyone on your newsfeed or in your friends list.

It’s important to remember that the opinions we voice on a topic so sensitive will have implications on those who read them. And the comments I’ve read about the show are very, very unforgiving. While it’s naïve to think that people wouldn’t use it as a perfect meme opportunity, I thought there’d be a lot more conversation about the ‘reality’ of a teen girl that took her own life because of the impact of words and actions of people around her.

I thought we might be better able to foster an environment where people felt safe to speak freely–not made to feel like they were ‘overreacting’ or ‘being dramatic’ like so many say about Hannah. You may not realise it, but these comments can actually be damaging to those who relate to Hannah’s character more than you know.

Whether you like it or not, words have an impact. Actions have an impact. Interactions have an impact. The first thing they teach you in school is ‘if you don’t have anything nice to say then don’t say it at all’. Let people know what they mean to you while you still can.

Maybe that’s the point of 13 Reasons Why?

If things are getting too much or you’ve noticed a few more negative thoughts creeping in, remember that you aren’t alone. Help is on the other side of the dial tone—dial BeyondBlue on 1300 22 4636 or Lifeline on 13 11 14.

by Ashleigh Brooks