What To Do If Your Mate Is An Awful Listener

I could tell her I've worked out how to time travel. Have been dead for seven years. Married Jacob Elordi. Got in a car accident...

And she still wouldn't take a breath from talking. 😮‍💨

This is an ode to my friend, to your friend, to all the friends that just don't listen. 

Maybe they talk extremely loudly, or they interrupt. Maybe you can tell they aren't listening. Maybe they're just thinking of what to say next or when you finish your spiel, they start talking about something completely irrelevant... How can someone fully understand our feelings and opinions if they quite frankly won't shut up? Eek.

I met my friend in question at work. From the get go, I noticed that she loved talking about herself and didn't give others time to respond. I wasn't sure if it was narcissistic, maybe more of an anxious quirk, or a self-esteem issue. Maybe she just wasn't aware of it at all. 

We had a tonne of similar interests so inevitably became close. But as time passed, I started feeling drained after we hung out. It was like a workout trying to get a word in, praying that she doesn't interrupt your anecdote or wondering if she's even listening at all.

Being around her was honestly like shouting into the void. 🥵

You have to speak up, or the friendship will cark it

The good times we shared weren't redeeming the fact that it was her world, and I was just living in it. It was time to speak up. People aren't psychic! They don't know or notice their habits that drive others up the wall until they're told! 

I like to approach things light-heartedly. Feelings get less hurt. 💕

I'd say: "darl, you keep talking over me" and laugh. She would laugh too and apologise. Badabingbadaboom, the conversation started to become a two-way street. Truth be told, she did persist with her interrupting, so I persisted in telling her that she was butting in.

When she'd respond with something irrelevant because she obviously wasn't listening, I'd say something like "what's the relevance?" or "that's a different train of thought. Did you hear what I said?"

When I could tell her eyes were glazed over thinking of what she wanted to talk about, I'd stop talking. If she asked why, I'd say a little jokingly: "you're not listening".

Know when to call it quits

Unfortunately, this story may not have the ending you're looking for. See, I tried hard to let my mate know that she wasn't a great listener. But I grew tired of expending my energy in trying to teach her the etiquette of holding a conversation. I had so many other mates, and still do, who I love chinwagging with and who actually listen. Who ask questions, who care, who know what's happening in my life.

She didn't want to change. But some people do! 

What makes a good mate is someone who listens. But what makes an even better mate is someone who wants to grow, better themself, and takes feedback.

If they hear your feedback and try to be better, that's a real mate you want around. Remember: nobody's perfect! Nobody's psychic either! Some people just need to be nudged a little to become their best selves and a better mate. ❤️‍🔥