05 Jul 2017

Unlike previous generations, our phones aren’t solely attached to our home so we’re constantly in contact with everyone. We don’t have to organise a set place in the shopping centre to meet, we can just rock up and send a text asking where someone is.

We don’t have to hope someone hasn’t left the house yet if we need to call and cancel, we can message them two minutes before the scheduled time and bail. Phones have their perks- but they’re also making us flaky as f*ck.

1. Phones make cancelling too easy

Mobile phones make it super easy to plan things. All you need is a group message, a Facebook event or a few texts to organise your mates and form a semi solid plan to go out on a Friday night. Yeah, it might be a bit tricky trying to find a time and date when everyone is free, but once you pass that hurdle it’s pretty cruisey- all everyone has to do is show up.

But, as we all know, this never happens. Someone is running half an hour late, someone else has to cancel last minute because of a ‘family thing’ and someone else is reading all the group chat messages but not replying to them. Being able to organise things so easily comes with its downfall- it’s also super easy to cancel.

There’s no disapproving stares, no annoyed voices or disappointed questions about why you can’t make it. All you have to do is write a message, hit send then make yourself comfortable at home without the awkwardness of cancelling on someone face to face.

2. We never really commit to anything

We look at the Facebook event, leave it unanswered and hit ‘maybe’ at the last minute. We open the group chat and leave our mates on read. When we run into friends in person we tell them we’ll ‘catch up soon’ without making any concrete plans. We send texts saying ‘I’ll let you know’ and ‘not sure what I have on’.

We say we’ll go to something without actually committing to it- we don’t tell work we’re not available, we let our other friends know we have a night free and we keep our options open. There’s plenty of reasons for this: we don’t want to miss out on something else and we want the option of going if we feel like it but we don’t want to be locked into anything.

3. Bailing is normal

Everyone does it. You do it. I do it. Your best friend that genuinely wants to see you but just can’t be f*cked do it. Bailing on your mates has become so easy and so common that it has become normalised.

We’re not surprised when someone pulls out on us and in turn, our guilt is minimised when we pull out on someone else. It’s a cycle of bailing that means actually hanging out with people becomes a real effort, regardless of how much you want to see them, with cancelling being the easiest option.

I reckon we need to talk to our mates about this bailing culture so we’re not offended when it happens. Bailing can cut people real deep, especially if they’re super keen on an event and spent 4 hours doing their makeup or flexing in front of the mirror or finding the right outfit.

If you know your mate is keen and you genuinely can’t be f*cked to go out, respect them enough to be honest about how lazy you feel. We all know your ‘family thing’ isn’t real and that your ‘migraine’ will disappear as soon you bail. They deserve honesty and you do too.