Thanks to a tonne of porn, unrealistic sex scenes on the big screen and a lack of open discussion on the topic, there seems to be a few misconceptions about what it’s like to actually have sex with someone. Aside from the obvious ‘you’ll get pregnant and die’ which seems to be a favourite of conservative parents/teachers/adults everywhere, here’s a few other statements about getting naked with someone that are definitely not true.
1. Sex has to be between a girl and a guy
This lie stems from myths surrounding ‘losing’ your virginity. Having sex for the first time (or any time, for that matter) doesn’t need to involve actual penis penetration (I promise that’s the first and last time I’ll use that word). LGBTQI+ couples may never experience sexual intercourse with a member of the opposite sex, ever, but this doesn’t mean they can’t have an active sex life or ‘lose’ their virginity.
2. Guys just have to shove it in for a girl to orgasm
According to pop culture, all a guy has to do is stick it in to deliver an earth-shattering orgasm to their partner. Sorry to disappoint, but jack hammering away at your girl probably isn’t going to do it for her. Research shows that most women can’t reach orgasm through vaginal penetration alone (okay, that really is the last time I’ll use that word). Plus, it’s generally acknowledged that women can take, on average, up to twenty minutes to reach the big O (assuming that they do reach it) whereas men can do it in five.
3. A person can be too big for a condom
It’s pretty common to hear about guys who refuse to wear a condom, because ‘they’re too big’. This myth was 100% debunked when Zara Larsson stretched a condom over her entire leg and a careful Google search will reveal hundreds of photos of condoms stretched over body parts far bigger than anyone’s penis. Condoms come in heaps of sizes, lengths and widths. Plus, they’re super stretchy so there’s a size for literally everyone; you might just have to try a couple out. Whatever the excuse, don’t ever let yourself be pressured into ditching a condom if that’s not what you want.
4. If someone says no, they mean yes
It’s 2019 and we’re still arguing about consent. If someone says no, they mean no–you can’t have sex with them regardless of what they’re wearing/how they’re acting/other things they might be saying. Case closed.
5.They are focused on your flaws
For a lot of people, finally moving past Netflix and getting to the chill part can be ruined by thoughts about how they look or what their partner thinks of them. Distractions about body image or what the other person is thinking can stress you out and make the whole situation super awkward and not fun. The thing to remember is, if you’ve gotten to the point where someone is getting naked with you they’re probably way too excited to give a shit about any cellulite or rolls you might have. Relax.