Is It Okay To Ghost Your Friends?

So we’ve heard about ghosting, right? The term is usually used in the dating world when someone literally just drops off the face of the earth and leaves you on delivered. It’s become so common that for some people, it’s now their full-blown personality trait. But there’s another form of ghosting we need to talk about – friend ghosting. So what is it, and do we deserve the worst friend of the Year award for doing it?

You can talk about ghosting in two different senses. There’s the extreme version where someone, quite literally, ghosts you in real life. They cut ties and just pretty much drop you as a friend with no explanation. Then we have the ghosting which is just “Ooop they haven’t replied to my message for a few days.” Now, both defs suck. But one of them hurts just that tad more. 

When it comes to the first type of ghosting - the full cut off – whether it’s okay or not really depends on the circumstances. Obviously, the most mature way to end a friendship is to communicate with them directly, and explain why you need to cut ties. If you have already talked to your friend about things they have been doing that has affected your friendship and they haven’t made an effort to change, you have every right to put yourself first and end the friendship.

Friendship breakups can be super tricky to navigate and they can hurt a lot. But if you are suffering at the hand of somebody else’s mistreatment towards you, then that is a very valid reason to say your goodbyes. Simply put, if this friendship has just become too toxic and it’s too far gone for an explanation, well, such is life. Sometimes if people can’t be bothered trying to understand where you are coming from, you are left with no other way of trying to paint the picture for them. Trying to say anything or explain your feelings towards the friendship will just further drain your energy. In this case, just distance yourself and don’t let yourself feel the need to explain why. Hopefully, with a bit of self-awareness and reflection, the other person will realise as time passes on. 

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As for the second type of ghosting, sometimes I feel like it’s actually not that deep. People get busy and forget to reply to messages all the time. And honestly, sometimes you just don’t even have the energy to think of a response. This is coming from the perspective of a girl who always accidentally ghosts people. But I mean nothing bad by it, I just genuinely forget or get sidetracked doing something else. And I can say it’s probably the same for most of the people who have you in their messages rn. Of course, I get that it’s annoying when you’re on the other side of it, as I’ve been told. But as long as it’s not all the time, and you get back to their messages eventually…. I’m sure it can’t be too bad.

At the end of the day, ghosting is just a label we have made up to use whenever someone isn’t responding to us in the timeframe which we desire, it doesn’t always need to mean a worst-case scenario. Maybe we should all just make mobile phones and texting a thing of the past and transport back in time where the only way to contact people was to see them in person or send a letter. That sounds right up my alley.