28 Mar 2020

You’ve started your degree and, despite what everyone told you, you’re not lovin’ this whole tertiary education thing. It might be the desire to travel, the cost or the pressure. Maybe you’re just not getting a good vibe from it. Whatever it is, you’ve made the decision to get out and put a hold on getting a degree. You’ve un-enrolled, deferred or rejected an offer. You’re dropping out. So, now what?

Here comes the tricky task of letting the important people in your life know what you’re doing. No doubt you’ve already had a couple of conversations about it, but now’s the time to deliver the final call and there’s a couple of ways to help avoid a screaming confrontation.

1. Be sure of your decision

Congrats, you’ve already completed step one by deciding that uni life isn’t for you. When you’re in front of your family, presenting your case, no doubt there’s going to be arguments against what you have decided.

The ‘what if’s’ will start to be stacked against you, carefully placed to sneak into any cracks in your resolve you might have. Don’t let this happen, have faith in your own decision and the opportunities and experiences that reside outside a uni campus.

2. Not everyone needs to know

When your mum’s, bestfriend’s, sister’s, husband asks you how uni is going it can seem like everyone has been keeping tabs on your academic advancements. It’s important to remember that it’s really none of their business. Uni is an individual decision and while advice from the people around you might help guide you, you hold all the power.

Obviously, you’re going to have to give a few people the heads up on your plans. Your parents will probably be the first people you sit down and talk it out with, but the aunty that you only ever see once a year? Don’t stress about keeping her in the loop.

3. Have your reasons prepared

So you’ve sorted out who’s making it on your ‘to tell’ list. Your entire Facebook friends list has been crossed out and your mum and dad have ranked first place. When it comes to telling them you have to be ready to sell it. While its pretty obvious to you that uni wasn’t working, it might be a surprise to everyone else who thinks you have been breezing through. The key to getting your point across is all in your delivery. Do some research. What percentage of the people who work in the industry you’re working towards actually have a degree? Write some notes, rehearse your arguments and practice your reasons in the mirror.
Handy facts: 26% of uni students drop out and it takes an average graduate 2.7 YEARS to find any kind of work, and 4.7 years to find FULL TIME WORK.

4. Sort out your Plan B

You’ve gotten past the nitty gritty. You’ve explained to your mum/dad/grandparents/siblings how uni isn’t right for you right now, or maybe ever. So far so good. Except now you’ve finished explaining the why, and they’re still looking at you like you have something else to say. This is where you jump in with your Plan B. Maybe you’re going to work full time, or take some time to travel, or find a traineeship or enrol in a TAFE course.

When you tell them that you’re stepping away from the traditional uni path, they might get the idea that you’ll be bumming around the house for the rest of your life and even if you’re not exactly clear on where you’re headed, giving them something concrete and immediate to focus on can help them accept your decision.

5. Don’t freak out if they freak out

Alright you’ve done it, you’ve laid all your cards on the table. Only, your carefully laid plans aren’t working out and everyone’s yelling and there’s tears and everything is burning up in flames.  Don’t freak out. For a lot of the people in your life, your life has been mapped out and this outburst is just their reaction to you going off script. 

They might seem angry but more than anything they’re probably scared that you’re making a decision that doesn’t align with a traditional success story. This is where you have to stay calm and confident in your decision. At the end of the day this is your life and your wellbeing on the line and if uni isn’t doing it for you then don’t let yourself be pressured into it.