30 Mar 2020

So here’s the deal:

Your parents controlled everything for you when you were younger. The colour of your walls, the clothes you wore, what time you went to bed…

Then you grew up. Through trial and error, you figured out your very own values, opinions, and beliefs. You created an identity that separates you from your creators. 

Your ‘rents may have a rough time adjusting to this and realising that you're your own person now. They can't shield you from the world like they used to. They can't make your decisions for you. Their words aren't gospel anymore. 

This can result in clashes. Most of the time, fighting comes from your ‘rents trying to control you as they did so easily when you were a lil' munchkin. Trying to control your hairstyle, your hobbies, your career path. It’s important to realize that this comes out of love. They want what’s best for you.

But you want what’s best for you too. And I’m going to now tell you something revolutionary: Sometimes, just sometimes, you’re right and they’re wrong.

!

But their opinions matter too. Let them see your perspective. Let them in your head! It’s sad that when kids become teenagers, they end up giving their ‘rents one syllable responses.

Now, let's also not forget that so many elements of what makes you, you, are from your parents. There are traits that are carbon copies from your Ma and Pa. For example, I am extreeeeemely stubborn and so is my old man. We always butt heads over the smallest, silliest things and we always, always, think that we're right. Being around someone you're so similar to can be a little whack at times.

And of course, there are things about you that are completely different to your 'rents. Whether it's your passions, beliefs, or outlook on the world, it can be maddening living with people that are so completely different from us. That's when the whole control thing really makes us go crazy, since they're so different.

We just have to remember that our parents watched us grow from a tiny bub to a fully formed human being. I can only imagine how agonizing it must be to not be able to lead your child through the world safely. I guess you can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink. 

Let's also not forget the most obvious reason why we bicker with our parents, especially when we're living with them. We're seeing them every bloody day. We're bound to get irked by the things they do, just like we do from our siblings. I would like to take this opportunity to beg my mum to stop doing the dishes at six in the morning as I cherish my sleep.

It's natural to fight with your 'rents. But maybe it's important to realize where they're coming from. Heck, sometimes, they actually do know what's best for you.