It's Freedom Day And I Am Not Prepared For Lockdown To End

For many in NSW, the easing of restrictions means kicking back at the pub with your mates that you haven’t seen in months, long awaited reunions with family, meeting baby nieces or nephews for the first time and actually being able to travel outside of your LGA. For others, the return to normal can be a cause for anxiety, and for valid reason.

Don’t get me wrong - I am keen to have some of our freedom back; I am feeling the collective excitement of sitting in a restaurant but I am not prepared for the overwhelming face-to-face interactions that’ll come with social gatherings, talking to strangers at the club, those sweaty dancefloors and the overly excited chattiness in the bathrooms (you're my hype gals though, you got a special place in my heart, so go off).

@sketchshe

Thanks for the crippling social anxiety Lockdown! 😐😐 #australia #picnic #anxiety #lockdownsydney

♬ original sound - Lans and Mads

These past couple of weeks as we counted down the days, I was thinking “you beauty, I cannot bloody wait to do everything I’ve missed out on these past few months” but as soon as the clock turned over to 12:00am, I freaked out. It’s actually happening. But the light at the end of the tunnel doesn’t seem so bright for some - myself included.

I’m afraid of returning to the office after working from home for months, being in a large group setting with friends and walking through crowds of people while retail shopping. It’s an anxious feeling, getting back to normal and doing the things we were told weren’t safe for a long time. 

The funny thing is, I am a fiend at saying yes to everything - even when I don’t want to. I suffer from FOMO but am always hoping that social gatherings are cancelled. I love getting my hair done but struggle with awkward small chat with my hairdresser. Geez, I’m sounding like a “pick me” girl right now. It’s nothing new for me but with our city opening up after such a long time of lockdown, I’m having a hard time grappling with the idea that things will bounce back to the stock standard, post-lockdown life. 

Any shift to your routine (in my case, was waking up thirty minutes before work and walking to the fridge 10 times a day) is a stressful time. I am dreading the outside perceptions of myself, after wearing an oversized t-shirt and pyjamas all day long. I barely fit into any of my clothes anymore. I’m scared about my bank balance plummeting after spontaneous pub feeds and drinks after an outdoor boogie.

There’s people that were out of work for months, 114 days exactly and are just getting back into the groove of things; I can imagine that it’s pretty nerve-wracking. Just something to note: Be kind to your servers, retail assistants, hospitality workers and anyone whose work has been put on pause. Be patient. A 16-year-old part-timer trying to assist you is not setting all the rules. In technical terms, our skin will regenerate itself every 27 days but that doesn’t mean hospo workers have grown a thicker skin for all those Karen’s out there. Thoughts are with you guys.

If you’re struggling like I am, take it day by day. Don't be too hard on yourself. Slow and steady wins the race; go at your own pace. We’re all relearning how to exist in these new environments, being comfortable on public transport and just having a conversation with people face-to-face again.