03 Aug 2020

No one wants to be a flake. I mean, we all know how infuriating it is when someone bails on us, whether we had plans to go to a party together, travelling together, study together...

But, for whatever the circumstance or scenario, if you've changed your mind on some plans, here is how to do it.

1. The sooner, the better

Rip off the band-aid ASAP! 

It's so much better to give people notice. Maybe they can rearrange the plans and find someone else to go with. It also won't be so confronting if it's not out of the blue a few hours before.

2. Can you compromise?

Maybe you want to go on a camping trip but your mate wants to stay in boujee hotels. If you were completely honest and said "mate, I can't afford that," you guys may be able to compromise on doing half and half or staying in hostels.

Really, what I mean here is, what is it about the plans that you're not keen on? If you're not able to compromise then that's all g... keep on reading!

3. Be honest

Lying more often then not will leave you up sh*t creek without a paddle. Don't say that you're sick and then be spotted galivanting across the beach. Rookie move.

Let's also not forget that a lot of the time, your mates know you enough to have a BS detector on you and can probably tell when you're fibbing.

Be honest. Are you stressed, not comfortable, not interested in the plans anymore? Tell them! Has something else come up? Just tell them, god damn it! 

4. But you don't have to tell them your whole life story

Whenever I'm writing an excuse, I tend to send a novel as long as Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix. What I've learnt about this is that it just ends up frazzling the recipient of the message as it's, to be fair, a lot to take in.

Being honest is important, but don't feel the need to divulge in every single detail. Keep it quick to the point kiddos.

5. Be considerate because it can suck

Acknowledge what you're costing them and apologise! Care about what this means to them and help in any way that seems fit.

Once I bought a friend and I tickets for a tour that we'd agreed to go on and then she decided that she didn't want to go anymore. There was no explanation and no empathy. She didn't help me try to find someone to give the non-refundable ticket to and she didn't care that it cost me out by $200! Ouch! Sure, it was always going to suck, but if she actually tried to help, if she empathised and given a bit of explanation, I would have been sweet with the situation!

So there's your cautionary tale. Be empathetic! Ask if there's anything you can do! 

We all have to be a flake at some point in time and it's so so so fair enough! Just make sure you do it right.