28 Jun 2021

I love my closest mates with every fiber in my being. I basically wet my pants and get abs every time we're together from excess laughter. We know every little detail about each other's lives thanks to the constant hangouts, texts, calls, and rambly voice memo spam. The mems we have are genuinely priceless. 

That being said, I did have a bone to pick with them. See, this might mean nothing to you, but I'm a Capricorn and my love language is quality time. With that combination, flakiness is my number 1 gripe.

Unfortunately, whilst I adore my friends, some of them can be exactly that. ✨Flaky✨

All I wanna do is go to festivals, art galleries, gigs, and events. I wanna plan surf trips, hikes, road trips, and adventures. I wanna do cork and canvas, escape rooms and go to footy games. I wanna do all of these red hot things with my red hot mates, but sometimes they just don't pull through. 

I totally understand that life can get in the way of plans. Maybe they can't take work off, maybe they crashed their car and can't afford it anymore, maybe they're unwell or have a family emergency. 

But sometimes my mates have weak excuses that I see right through. It feels slack and almost personal. I get that it's easy for someone to say 'lock it in Eddie', and then not actually go through with the plans, but don't string me on.

It can be disappointing, frustrating, and infuriating.

Finally, after a failed plan to go to Perth that cost me $$$ and wasted my time, I sat my mates down and plucked up the courage to talk to them. I despise confrontation, but I was getting so so so sick of it. I mean, I was starting to not trust them anymore. I didn't wanna make any plans with them, even tiny ones like a cheeky picnic or movie night, because I had this feeling in my gut that they'd bail last minute.

Do you know what I learned? They didn't realise that they were being flaky at all. They didn't notice how gutted it made me feel.

I made it super clear to them as well that they were allowed to say no from the get-go! People often fail to keep their commitments because they make commitments they don't really want to make. I'd rather be told that they aren't keen on that certain event before I take work off for it or that they can't afford that trip away before I book accommodation!

They really listened, because they're my mates after all! So my advice is to just talk to your flaky mates. Chances are, they don't realise how annoying they're being.