15 Feb 2020

Ending any relationship is rough. Ending a toxic relationship is torture. You're left dazed and confused with your self-worth shattered.

Shockingly enough, getting over it isn't as easy as just blasting Toxic by Britney Spears on repeat. 

Getting over a toxic relationship can be more nuanced than any other breakup so here is how to let go, move on and love yourself again.

Accept

Accepting that the relationship was toxic vital. Yes, it happened. Yes, actions that were used against you or by you, were toxic. Yes, there's nothing you can do to change the past.

Yes, you can learn from what happened.

Accept that it was all just a stepping stone, after all, to make you a stronger, more resilient being. Accept that when one door shuts, another opens. 

Don’t dwell

I'm not saying you should bottle everything up. In the early stages, let it all out. Journal and tell your friends and family. But if it gets to a point where you're obsessed with scrutinizing everything, drowning in memories and regret for the millionth time, it's time to stop dwelling - because living in the past is catastrophic.

Distract yourself, get productive, get that brain of yours focusing on the present moment and appreciating all the groovy things life has to offer.

Don’t wait for closure - close it yourself

A lot of the time, there isn't perfect closure at the end of a toxic relationship. But don't wait for it. 

Close it yourself. Say it out loud. That part of my life is over. It's time to move on.

Realise you deserve to be happy

A toxic relationship can leave you feeling pretty useless and inadequate. But you aren't. Realise that.

Realise that you deserve to be happy. You deserve to be loved without toxicity. You deserve to live your best freaking life. 

Fall back in love with yourself

Now that you know you deserve to be happy, can you remember what makes you happy? Do it! Set some goals and dare to dream. Get out there in the world and find some new opportunities. Meet some new friends, hang endlessly with old ones. 

Fall back in love with yourself. Do what makes you happy - whether it's reading or having a picnic or beach walks. Look after yourself. Eat. Sleep. Repeat. 

Work and earn mulla so you can treat yourself to a new outfit and a little trip. 

It's hard and it's a challenge. But you can get over this. You will get over this.