How To Know If You're 'Ready'

You may be asking ‘ready for what?’ but the chances are you know exactly what I’m implying. For the sake of being clear, I’m talking about being ready for sex.

Sex. The word that is on everyone’s lips. And truth be told, you’ve probably endured more than a few talks about sex, whether it’s from teachers, parents or your mates. Or even better - by the use of euphemisms and metaphors to do with lines and milkshakes. Thanks for that. But besides knowing what goes where, how contraception works or the number of positions that exist when you’re doin’ the deed, how do you truly know if you’re ready for sex?

First, a few things need to be set straight.

Sex is not a bad thing. And if you’ve never had sex before, that’s cool. In fact, it’s really cool. But amidst all the tongue-tied conversations from our parents and teachers, we’re made to feel as if sex is a terrifying thing that we approach with anxiety. Sex is meant to be fun, but only if you feel ‘ready’ when you do decide to do it for the first time - and every other time after that.

It can be hard when it feels like everyone around you is doing it like rabbits, except for you - an undesirable, inexperienced, virgin mutant. You may start to feel more and more isolated and alien, not just to your mates, but perhaps your whole school. Well, what the hell does that have to do with any of it? How you view sex and when you’re ‘ready’ shouldn’t be pressured onto you by your mates or by a crush who you feel like won’t be interested in you otherwise.

It is you and you alone who decides when you’re ready.

I’ll be honest and say that there is no list that could possibly tell you if you’re definitely ready for sex. It's really something you've gotta feel out for yourself. But there are some things that may help ya out in considering whether it’s time.

I’m talking about your sexpectations; knowing what you like, the environment that you feel comfortable in and whether you feel safe with the person you’re with. When you consider your sexpectations, you might feel more equipped to determine a time when you know you’ll be ready and be able to decide whether a particular situation feels right to you. If there is some doubt, then it’s probably not the right time.

When I was a 17-year-old, I felt ready. I wasn’t. I didn’t regret it, but it was a lesson learned. And now as a 21-year-old, I’ve realised that sex is meant to be fun, but it is also very personal and so is the choice of whether you’re ‘ready’. That’s why it’s totally up to you to decide - not that person at the party that is keen to get in your pants.