28 Mar 2023 | 3 mins
Overview
  • 1. Don't beat around the bush
  • 2. K.I.S.S
  • 3. Compliment them
  • 4. Don't apologise
  • 5. Be respectful
  • 6. Talk about you, not them
  • 7. Accept that it's gonna sting

Would you rather be rejected or reject someone? Most people would probably choose the latter. 

And then they actually have to do it. Be the one rejecting. Cue internal cringing.

Whether someone is asking you out for the first time or you’ve decided after a few dates that there’s just no spark, how exactly do you go about telling someone you’re not interested? Dw, we've got you. 

1. Don't beat around the bush 🌳

Sugarcoating what you wanna say may give them mixed signals. 🤔 Whilst you wanna be as nice as possible, rip off the bandaid and be direct. No empty promises either - don't say you can still hang out on the weekend if you know you won't. 

2. K.I.S.S 💋

No! Don't kiss them you fool! I mean K.I.S.S. Keep. It. Simple. Stupid.

Don't give them a long-winded thirty-minute speech about how you two aren't right for each other or why you're not looking for a relo rn. Neither of you wanna be having this convo in the first place, so keep it short and casual. 

3. Compliment them 💌

Let them down with a compliment sandwich. 

Tell them how great they are. How funny, how smart, how kind, how talented. Make sure they know how amazing they are, and how amazing they'll be in a relationship with someone else. 

4. Don't apologise 😮‍💨

Saying sorry makes it seem like you're at fault... But you're not! You can be empathetic, but don't take the blame! We can't control who we fall or don't fall for. 

5. Be respectful 👏🏼

Don't just ghost them out of the blue, leaving them confused and rattled. At least send them a message - it's a much kinder way to reject someone. 

6. Talk about you, not them 💬

Remember. K.I.S.S. You don't really need to go into a lot of detail about why you’re rejecting someone. If you do, stick with “I” statements like “I just don’t feel a romantic connection,” or “I'm not wanting a relationship right now.”

Don't put the blame on them - "You're just not my type"... "I'm not attracted to you"... Basically, take the “it’s not you, it’s me” approach.

7. Accept that it's gonna sting 🐝

Their feelings are probably gonna hurt. You might get a response that’s emotional or bitter. Show empathy, be kind and respectful, but at the end of the day remember that you've done nothing wrong. As I said before, you can't help that you're not interested in them.