01 Sep 2021

We’ve all had a disagreement with that one person in our friend group that thinks Red Rooster slaps and will defend it until the day they cark it, as if they’re a part of some secret scheme the fast-food chain has got going on.

Now, if you’re not already up to speed, Red Rooster has become a bit of a meme around having no customers and to be completely honest, until recently, I’ve only had it once and that was because my parents didn’t have the patience to drive anywhere else. 

@jay.chabz

red rooster is actually my favourite fast food restaurant ##redrooster ##fastfood ##customer ##worker ##service ##voice ##pov

♬ original sound - Jay Chabz

Behind all the jokes, there is a little truth - that there is a general consensus that Red Rooster kinda...sucks. Don’t quote me, they’re not my words, just the majorities. So if that’s the case, how are they still operating amongst their thriving fast-food competitors?

The question at hand: “how has Red Rooster survived after so long?”

The investigation

Here comes the conspiracies. An investigation, if you will.

No matter what time of day it is, some people have claimed they’ve never seen anybody in the restaurant, drive-thru or carpark. Their workers are just decoys. Some claim they haven’t gotten a pineapple fritter out of their freezer for years. Their stand alone restaurants haven’t been updated in years, they close down in food courts, they’re like the ninjas in fast-food.

A handful of people thought the chain was a “cover-up” for something. Maybe a money laundering scheme that funds their sister business, Oporto. People say they pay their employees hush money to say that they’re always busy when they’re in fact, not. Something just doesn’t add up. Or their re-branding is a front for what’s really going on behind the schemes.

So as the younger generation, @alright.hey on TikTok did God's work for us. He didn’t go straight to Tracy at A Current Affair, he took this into his own hands.

@alright.hey

had to test the megaphone before I go Tracy Grimshaw on them ##redrooster ##australia ##megaphone ##austok ##alrighthey

♬ original sound - AlrightHey

“Where are the profit and loss statements?”
“How are you still in business? How are they paying you?”
“Is it a front for something?”

The sub-conspiracy

If you think the investigation ended here, you’re dead wrong. There is in fact more to the story.

If you’re a bit confused about the above image, let me explain. Sourced from Honi Soit, the Red Rooster Line is a map that demonstrates a separation in class by where the closest chains to the city end, separating West and South-West Sydney to the northern and eastern suburbs.

Chargrilled Charlie’s? Ya boujee. Grew up with Red Rooster? You’re one of them. Some people have even said the Red Rooster line defines housing prices. A bit redic, but also very true.

Red Rooster’s response

Despite all the flack, Red Rooster have recently responded to these allegations in the best way possible. Through TikTok, obviously. 

@redrooster

More proof that our stores are filled with customers ##redrooster ##friedchicken ##australia ##theroosterscalling

♬ Pieces (Solo Piano Version) - Danilo Stankovic

Their satirical response videos have single-handedly destroyed these claims. R-r-roasted. Paid actors? Look, we’ll never know but it’s a quality marketing tactic.

Maybe this was all a ploy in their rebranding. Maybe the criticism has worked in their favour. Plus, they’ve got a knock-off Red Rooster Oodie (don’t sue us please) called the huggie. Sorry, but um. Can I have one? 🥺

This ain’t sponsored but I have to admit, Red Rooster slaps. I’ve taken a turn for the better. It’s definitely underrated. Their chips and cheesy nugs? Don’t get me started on their chocolate mousse. Ooft. Anyway, I’m off to RR for lunch. Hopefully this deep dive has answered all your burning questions about the infamous Rooster 🐔