22 Jun 2017

When you’re in school everything is set out for you. You wake up at the same time every morning, make it to school for the 9am bell and get out of there at 3pm every day. Recess and lunch are designated eating times and you have a school uniform to chuck on every morning. You know where you’re going to sit in each class and no one breaks the unspoken rule of taking your spot when your teacher doesn’t have assigned seating. You’ve got your bell times memorised and you could do your school week in your sleep (which you probably have in the lead up to exams).

Sure, there was moments of independence within the structure- you got to pick and choose what subjects you wanted to study once you got to your final years, your ‘study’ periods were free passes to do whatever you wanted for an hour and you finally got to drop Maths in Year 12.

But that wasn’t real freedom. You had to pick subjects from a small selection, and even then, sometimes you wouldn’t be able to do what you wanted because there weren’t enough students for a class. Your free periods were confined to the library, or at least within the school gates, and the joy of dropping Maths was offset by being forced to take English. Everything was still decided for you- from what shoes you were going to wear to how you were going to write an essay. That is, until you graduate.

Then, you’re on your own, kiddo.

When you finish there’s no more schedules. No more bell time tables or designated study periods. No one is telling you where to be and when. Wave goodbye to structure because when you finish Year 12, you’re pushed into the real world and independence is yours whether you want it or not. The structure that’s been holding up your life for the past thirteen years will be gone and that’s it. It’s up to you to figure it out.

So how do you deal with it? How do you face the big, wide world when you have exactly zero experience in being completely independent and free?

1. Make your own schedule

Chances are there’s going to be something you need to turn up to at least a couple of times a week. While you can sleep in till noon most days, you might have a uni tutorial, work or training session that demands you get out of bed every now and then. Use this as the basis of your schedule and work other things, like studying and readings, around it. Sticking to it is going to require a fair bit of self-motivation but once you get into a groove, having your own schedule for the week will help you feel a lot less terrified about being in charge of your own life. Avoid having endless free hours for existential crises and find ways to get out during your spare time- pick up extra shifts at work, hang out with your friends and fam, join a team or find a hobby.

2. Get help

Just because you feel like you’re completely alone in transitioning into the ‘real’ world, there’s plenty of support services to help you figure out what you’re doing. If you’re still studying, check out campus support options which can help with things like study schedules and mental health or look into organisations like Headspace who can help with getting the hang of being independent. Plus, don’t be afraid to talk to people who have been in the same position as you. While it can feel like you’re the only one not coping, plenty of people have gone through the exact same thing as you and are willing to help.

3. Enjoy it

Take advantage of the fact that you’re at a point in your life with virtually no major responsibilities. You don’t have a wife, two kids and a mortgage to worry about so why not enjoy it? Take a gap year and spend all your money on plane tickets to different parts of the world. Go out all weekend then stumble into work on Monday and tell your co-workers how you’re never drinking again. Work a heap of different jobs, save your money or spend it all. Having no structure can seem scary; everything’s on you and you don’t feel ready to be in charge of your life just yet. But don’t let this fear paralyse you. Go out, try new things, experience the world. Don’t waste your good years.