5 Signs Your Friends Might be Struggling With Their Mental Health

Mental health is never an easy thing to navigate, and it can be even harder to talk about, even with people you’re closest to. That’s why so often, the people around you could be struggling and nobody realises they’re having such a hard time. This is why it’s important to check in with your friends regularly, even if they seem completely fine. 

But it’s even more important to have those conversations if you notice they’re not acting like their usual self. That said, here are some common signs to look out for, so you can be there for your friends when they need you the most. 
 

They keep cancelling on you

When friends cancel on you regularly, it’s hard not to take it to heart. But in most cases, it’s not because they don’t like you, or trying to avoid you. It could be a sign that they’re struggling mentally right now and just aren’t feeling up to going out. If you’ve noticed a pattern of your mate asking for rain checks, it might be worth checking in to see if they’re okay, or even just suggesting a few lower-key hangouts, like just a chill night in watching a movie.
 

Sudden changes in appearance

If your friend all of a sudden makes a dramatic change to their appearance, like shaving or dying their hair suddenly (and it seems out of character), it could be a sign there’s something deeper going on. In most cases, they probably just felt like changing things up a bit. But if a change in appearance isn’t the only sign, then you should defs check in with them.

Another more obvious sign is evidence of self-harm. If you notice cutting marks on their arms or thighs, it’s really important to let them know you’re there for them. Avoid pointing it out in front of a group of people where they might feel uncomfortable, try and talk to them one on one. You don’t even have to mention the marks at all. Just make sure you check in and see how they’re doing, 
 

They have emotional outbursts

If anything, every single one of us should be way more emotional, in pretty much every way. But when emotions begin to rule your life, it starts to become unhealthy. So when you notice someone around you having intense reactions to situations they’d usually be pretty chill in, it’s a telling sign that they're going through an emotional time right now and they might benefit from some extra support from the people around them.
 

Partying a little too hard

If you’ve started to notice that your friend is drinking more than usual, or using drugs as a way to escape their thoughts, it’s defs worth having a chat with them. For example, maybe you’re just having a quiet night at a friend's place and everyone is having one or two drinks, but they’re regularly taking it a lot further than everyone else, it’s probably a sign they aren’t feeling their best.

When you talk to them, it’s really important to make sure you don’t seem like you’re shaming them or judging their behaviour. They probably need your support more than ever right now.
 

So how do you check in? 

So many people avoid chatting with their friends about mental health because they’re worried they won’t know what to say or will say the wrong thing altogether – myself included. It can be a really tough conversation to have, but it doesn’t have to be.

Remember that you’re not a therapist. It isn’t your job to fix things or give them strategies to make them feel better. So don’t stress about giving them the best advice ever. 

There is no one right way to say you care. Be open, direct and compassionate in your approach. You could start with:

“You haven’t seemed yourself lately and I’m worried about you.”

“I have noticed that you have been doing (X/Y/Z), and I’m wondering how you are going?”.

You could ask:

“What can I do to help you?”

“I’d like to help you get through this, is there something I can do for you?”.

If the person you are worried about isn’t ready to talk, you could say:

“I want to help you and I am here for you when you want to talk.”.

If you’re really worried about your friend and they’re showing signs of being suicidal, helping them to feel understood and less alone can go a really long way in preventing suicidal thoughts or planning. Here is a really great resource about talking to friends that you’re worried about.

If you need mental health support, please call Lifeline on 13 11 14 or chat online.

Under 25? You can reach Kids Helpline at 1800 55 1800 or chat online.

You can also reach the Suicide Call Back Service on 1300 659 467 or chat online.

If you require immediate assistance, please call 000.