20 Nov 2017

The time has come. The time where thousands of 18-year-olds and not-quite-18-year-olds-but-really-wish-they-were rush lazy beach towns and get a bit f*cked up celebrating the end of 13 long years of schooling. It’s a time to let your hair down, strengthen your friendships (or maybe break some…) and do some things that are a great idea at the time but turn out to be actually quite embarrassing – you deserve it.

Whether you actually remember it or you just remember that you can’t remember it at all, your Schoolies trip will live on forever as the week that transitioned you into freedom.

1. You will be rejected

This isn’t just by people you’re into. There is going to be countless times where you’re refused alcohol and rejected by security guards, or at the tattoo parlour for wanting to ink a Southern Cross onto your skin (rightfully so), or even at your own hotel. Don’t take it too hard, just accept it and move on.

2. Look out for ya mates

When shit gets real, a good friend should be standing next to you, no questions asked. So protect your own and carry on Australia’s proudest tradition. Leave no man behind (and definitely leave no woman behind, especially not with the creepy dude who was eyeing her up all night).

3. When intoxicated remember, stairs do not care

You’ll learn real fast that having a couple of breezers when trying to walk down the 21 flights of stairs at the Moroccan that you’re gonna have a bad time. Throw heels into the mix and it’s a recipe for disaster – probs stick to sandals on this trip, ladies (no one’s got time for the array of heels related issues when you’re just tryna stay upright).

4. We’re all in the same boat

Some of you will be handed the parent’s credit card, some of you will be slaving away working for the man, and some of you will probably just wing the whole experience. Each to their own, but remember: sharing is caring, unless it’s chlamydia. Help each other out, pool your alcohol and food funds. You don’t need to get up in arms about a few dollars shouted here and there.

5. The media will probably try and ruin your fun

Nothing will gain you a quicker rise to infamy than a 12 second clip on A Current Affair. Your parents may be watching, and everyone you know will link it to you on Facebook immediately, so it’s probably best to steer clear of a journo with a camera. Just remember (and this goes for social media too) the internet never forgets.

6. Losing your hotel keys is the worst

I can’t even begin to tell you how hard it is to explain to reception that someone has stolen your keys – particularly at 4:31am with a skin-full and a 2/10. To top it off, I can almost guarantee your roomies aren’t going to be too happy with the loss of their bond. Get that key onto a bracelet or necklace and let the good times roll.

7. Don’t be that guy

Yeah mate, we know you’re the biggest beer-man in the world. No, we don’t want to watch you do ten Jagerbombs in a row. Oh, you’re gonna do it anyway? Ok, bye! This known dickhead is the quickest route to ruining your day/night. The best tip to remember about Schoolies is ‘it’s marathon, not a sprint’. You don’t want to be the one that ruins it for everyone else.

8. Make the most of it

This is probably the only ‘mature’ thing we will ever tell you to do. There is going to be countless selfies, hugs, party pashes, terrible ideas and deathly hangovers. But take it all in. This is your first real world experience – your opportunity to burst that school bubble. Schoolies is the grand finale of your adolescent life but doubles as the opening ceremony to freedom and adulthood. There’s going to be plenty of crushing responsibility to come, so just take it slow and enjoy the experience. Here’s to ya!