05 May 2020

Zoom has quite frankly been the eye in the storm. Amidst all the chaos, out came the surgence of Zoom, offering virtual banter that we never thought was possible. 

With that, people have shown their true Zoom forms through group chats, family gathos, classes and work meetings.

Whether you're mucking around with effects and backgrounds, have no idea what you're doing or you see this as an opportunity to multi-task in the comfort of your own home, here are the 10 types of people you'll come across on Zoom.

1. The 'Invisible Man'

Are they ever really there? Are they actually participating or are they cranking music, dancing around or better yet, sleeping? Are they just lurking in the shadows, waiting for their time to pounce?

They're always muted and their camera is only ever off. It's slightly unnerving and creepy. But hey, maybe they still have pimple cream on and bed hair that they'd rather not share. Now that's fair enough.

2. Technologically challenged

To be blunt yet honest, it is normally the lecturer or teacher who has absolutely no idea what's going on. I mean, fair enough, this is a whole new world. 

But then we have to experience them mumble and fumble, trying to figure out how to share their screen or turn their camera on. But we've also got a handful of mates like that too, so welcome to the club pals.

3. Dressed to impress

You've got your people who shamelessly still wear their pyjamas. You've got your people who have the decency to get dressed on their top half at least. But then you have your people who are dressed to the nines.

They're dressed to impress and iso will not hold them back from looking their absolute best. We all stare at them, wondering how they still look so flawless whilst we didn't even bother. All the power to ya.

4. A quiet place... not

They're the ones constantly yelling at their 'rents to shut up or have their siblings keep coming in and out, wanting to see everyone else on their Zoom call. They can't even find peace in the backyard as their dog won't stop barking.

Most of the time they always stay on mute in fear of their Mum yelling something embarrassing. How they can concentrate is beyond me.

5. The meme lord

They've worked out how to have trippy backgrounds and effects. One day, they'll rock up to class looking like 'Joe Exotic'. The next, they'll be a potato.

They are the light in the darkness, keeping us from all going insane.

6. The one who accidentally didn’t hide themselves

They are the people who peed, thinking they were on mute and had to cop their entire class saying that they'd heard that. Or the people who have a face mask on but thought their camera was hidden. Or the people who have a whole convo with their fam and then afterwards find out that their whole workplace heard it... pray for them. They need it.

7. The multi-tasker

They are a multi-tasker and they'll make sure you know it. They'll flaunt their guitar abilities whilst stopping occasionally to take notes in a lecture or they'll be doing 100 push-ups, nodding every now and then to prove that they're listening. They are talented and fierce. I wish I was them.

8. The awkward one

"Hi, guys. Great to see all your faces virtually. Haa haa... Oh wowee, it looks bright where you are Greg. Haa. Okay. Let's get um... started. Can you all hear me? Haa haa."

I've found that a lot of guest lecturers have been quite awkward which is fair since this is a bit of an awkward situation. But alas, the cringe is still prevalent. 

9. The one with crappy wifi

They're lagging so hard, they might as well be back in 2019. They keep cutting out and having to leave and return. We can only pray for them and hope that their internet at least works for Netflix.

10. The one who just hangs with their dog the entire time

Their dog hasn't left the screen all day. I mean, coronavirus may be crappy for all of us but at least our dogs are getting the attention they deserve.

Now, repeat after me. I will always check that I'm on mute before you go to the toilet.