How To Set Boundaries (And Stick To Them)

Ever felt let down or hurt by peoples' bad behavior but find it hard not to resort to the cold shoulder or arguing? Join the club 😰. Unfortunately, as we go through life, friends, parents, workmates, and partners will undoubtedly overstep and cross the line, making you feel uncomfortable or unimportant.

While this is unavoidable, and you can't control others' actions, what you can control is your response! That's where setting boundaries comes in. The beauty of setting boundaries is it will help to maintain healthy relationships and remove any resentment or confusion. How good?

What exactly are boundaries?

Boundaries show exactly what behavior you'll accept from other people, and what other people can expect from you. Boundaries can look like:

• understanding your needs and wants and how to communicate them. 👀
• valuing your own opinions. 🥰
• accept when others tell you “no”.😄
• saying "no" to things that go against your boundaries. ✋

But...how do I set boundaries?

This can be tricky because everyone has different levels of tolerance in different settings and cultures. For the most part, to set your own boundaries that align with who you are and what you're comfortable with, there are a few things you need to suss out:

• physical boundaries 🏋🏾‍♀️: this means things like personal space, your privacy, and your body. You might be comfy with public displays of affection like a quick pash on the street - or you might be someone who prefers not to be touched in public. 
• sexual boundaries 🔥: these are your expectations with intimacy - sexual comments and touches might be super uncomfortable for you. It's important to listen to your body and never feel bad for setting these boundaries.
• intellectual boundaries 🧠: all about your thoughts and beliefs. These boundaries are crossed when someone dismisses your ideas or opinions.
• emotional boundaries🙃: all about feelings - you might not feel comfortable sharing your feelings about absolutely everything with a friend or partner - you might wanna share gradually over time.
• financial boundaries 🤑: If you're keen to save money, you might not always be up to loaning money to a mate or partner - or you might be totally ok with it.

At first, it's not easy, but it's down to you to set your own boundaries and decide what is and isn't ok. There is no right answer, just what you are happy with. 

If you remind people what you're comfortable with in a calm way and they respect that, then perfect! If not, it might be time to rethink your relationship with that person! You got this 💋