30 Jun 2022 | 3 mins

You know those people that are completely fearless? They never back down from the highest rock jump into the water, they laugh through scary movies and they even enjoy public speaking.

Crazy as they are, try getting them to ask out a guy or girl they care about and watch as they crumble.

When you’re feelings get involved, the fear game takes on a whole new dimension. Asking out someone you care about can be extremely difficult, but there are a few steps you can take to improve your chances of success.
 

Confidence is key

I know it’s cliché, but it’s true! Confidence really is crucial. Even if you’re freaked, the more confident you appear on the outside, the better.

The less you know the person, the more vital it is. If you’re asking out someone you’ve been “close friends” with for years, then you probably can’t really change how they feel about you, no matter how confident you appear. But if you’re asking out someone you’ve just met, then the more self-assured you can seem, the better your chances.

Don’t be cocky and don’t appear like you’ve already assumed that they’re gonna say yes. Just be confident in asking and confident in knowing what you’re asking for (a date, you sicko!)
 

Do it in person!

The only exception to this rule is if you’re asking them out on a dating app like Tinder. Other than that, no texts, no Facebook messages, no private Tweets (is that a thing?), no Insta DM’s, no Snapchats and no leaving a note in their pencil case. No asking them out over a phone call and no getting one of your friends to ask for you.

Summon up the courage, look your future love straight in the eyes and ask them out.
 

Get them on their own

Show a bit of respect to your hopefully-soon-to-be-boyfriend-or-girlfriend and ask them out in privacy. Nothing could be more awkward than getting asked out in front of your friends, so you shouldn’t be putting anyone through that!

This doesn’t mean that you need to be creepily watching them, waiting to ambush them the moment they’re finally alone. You’re better off (confidently!) politely asking for a moment of their time, taking them aside, then spilling the beans.
 

Be prepared for rejection

I’m not saying that rejection is necessarily likely. But it’s possible.

If you ask someone out and they say no and you respectfully accept their decision and carry on your way, who knows? Maybe down the track, they’ll appreciate how maturely you handled that situation and change their mind. Maybe. But if you ask someone out and they say no, then you burst out into a fit of tears and rage, then I daresay that it’s game over for good.

Disappointment is natural, of course. But if you go into the situation already accepting that there’s the possibility of a no, then you’ve gone a long way already towards accepting the hypothetical rejection.
 

Be serious, and be clear

Again, everything in moderation. Being serious doesn’t mean intense and demanding. But don’t try and pass it off as a joke, or make the question vague so you can convince yourself that a no wasn’t really a no. In the same way, they might not understand what you’re asking so they might accidentally say yes or no when in fact they meant the exact opposite!
 

Make sure it’s what you want

If you’re dying to ask this person out, then you’re probably thinking “of course this is what I want” and beginning to question why you’re even reading this.

But maybe you’re not sure why you’re asking them out. Or you’re asking them out because your mates are telling you to. Or you’re freaking out because you’re the only one of your friends who’s still single. Or you’re doing it because you know they like you and you don’t wanna hurt them.

If this is you, then asking them out is the worst thing you can do. What if they say yes, but you don’t actually feel the same way they do? At the end of the day, if you’re not honest with them and yourself, you could end up causing someone a lot of pain. Simply put, if you're not sure if you're keen and keen for the RIGHT reasons, leave them be. 

Asking someone out is never easy, but it definitely doesn’t have to be as hard as many people make it out to be.