04 Jul 2016

It’s easy for these holidays to escape us, especially if we’re not overseas (like everyone else seems to be at the moment, wtf?!).

We sleep in too long and we wake up feeling dopey. We drink too much and waste another day hungover and lazy. We don’t eat out as often because we’re not on campus so we have to think about what to eat for breakfast, lunch and dinner. Our money disappears quicker than usual. Boredom creeps in some days and we don’t know what the heck we should be doing. Maybe we work more hours at our casual jobs but that doesn’t exactly enhance our quality of life, right?

But holidays are kind of like New Years- it’s a time to get your life back on track, a time for you to buy new stationery for your next semester, to finally clean your God forsaken bedroom, to get your sleeping pattern in check and to establish a healthy cooking routine so you don’t have to eat takeaway at Uni all the flipping time. However, like New Years we usually enter it tired, hungover and groggy.

So what does ‘getting your life on track’ really look like?

1. It starts with your alarm clock

You need to conquer that bitch. You need to hear it go off (on the other side of the room) get up, turn it off and go straight to the bathroom to wash your face with some nice, soft, organic, sweet smelling baby soap and cold water. Pick that sleep out of your eyes! Pull your hair back! Have a shower if morning showers are your thing.

2. Leave your room now 

Don’t check your notifications. As soon as you do, you’ll flop onto your bed again and so begins the cycle that you’ve been stuck in for the last few months. Go straight to the kitchen, cut yourself a big, juicy piece of fruit. Walk outside and zen out for a bit. Channel your inner yogi ‘grammer. Think about life and being wholesome and clean and fresh and wow! Who knew the morning was this great?

3. Go back into your bedroom and make your damned bed

 Yes, it’s pointless, but it always looks so nice and inviting when you do it. Check your phone- by now you’re awake and your bed is made and you don’t want to ruin the wrinkleless sheets you’ve just spent too long caring about. Don’t scroll through Facebook for ages because it’s negative, and makes you lose hope in the future generations because of everyone’s stupidity (bar yours, duh).

4. Get dressed, pull on your running shoes and go for a walk

Go for a run if you’re really keen (I’m trying to make this realistic guys, most of us are not going to run).

5. After your walk-run, get home and spend the day doing something that is benefiting your mind

It’s so easy to fall into the cyber vortex. Read a book. Bake a cake. Commit time to that hobby that you neglect during semester (didn’t you want to learn Oceans on guitar by the end of the year? Better get cracking). Go through those clothes you keep saying you want to sell at the markets. Bag them up. Photograph them to sell on a Facebook album because, while you’ll suddenly become ‘that guy’, you won’t waste $50 for a market stall. Watch a documentary. Call a friend you haven’t seen in a while (you know who they are). Ask a parent or relative for coffee. Write a letter to an old friend. Sew up your jeans that ripped at the crotch last week at Retro Night. Write a list of these things and get keen to cross it all off.

When you wake up early and start it on the right foot- washing your face, going outside and delaying technology, you’d be surprised at how incredible you feel. Look how long this day is! So full of potential! So worthy of an Instagram of your great new lifestyle! #earlymornings #motivated #healthylyf

And once you push through the first three days, the rest is as smooth as a baby’s bottom (but not as smelly). You’ll start feeling better about your life, you’ll start feeling motivated, like you could conquer the world or something. What are you waiting for? GET OUT OF BED. KILLEM.