22 Jun 2020

Your parents want what's best for you. Unfortunately, sometimes their desires don't align with your own. Accepting that is the first important thing to do when gearing up to tell your 'rents that you want a career they won't approve of.

It's scary not having your parents back you up on something so pivotal in your life, especially when we seek their approval and advice on the reg. But at the end of the day, you know what's best for you. And that's not to say they won't come around or even defy your expectations and be completely supportive.

Here's a few ways to de-escalate a hard convo with your parents when it comes to discussing careers.

 

Appreciate their concerns

Make it known to your 'rents you appreciate that they want you to succeed and make good choices. Even thank them for caring, just don't make it sound facetious even if deep down you feel that way. Respectfully listen to them and ask questions. Showing maturity and not just screaming something like "THIS IS A HOUSE OF DEAD DREAMS!" will earn you a few brownie points.

All in all, tell them that you appreciate their opinions.

Understand their opinions

A conversation like this, with two opposing opinions, is much like a debate. One side has some arguments, an opposing side has some counter-arguments. So, before you talk to your parents, mull over what their arguments will be and plan how you'll counter them. 

Is this career path too up in the air? Too risky? Is it a change in direction from what you always said you'd pursue? Is it something your parents don't believe in, look down on or don't understand? 

Once you under their opinions, then have them understand your opinions. It's super important to remember this is a conversation - not an argument or debate. It's easy to feel frustrated, but keep your cool. And if it's your parents becoming frustrated, hit 'em with the old "I'm being civil, can we please share our thoughts respectfully?" card. 

Have information to back you up

Whilst pondering their arguments and opinions, have research to back you up! Load your brain up with facts and statistics that will enlighten them.

For example, if want to be an actor and your parents think that that is a dead-end dream with no clear way of success, give them evidence on how you could and/or would go about getting there, whether that be through university, TAFE, private educators or even getting an agent. Show them that you've gotten in touch with theatre companies to act in plays and small video producing companies to assist them and network with cast and crew. Principle is, show them that you're dead serious about it with research and facts. It shows effort and care. Now, that leads on to the next point.

Show your enthusiasm

The most important point. Project how passionate you are about this career path! When they see the genuine excitement shining in your eyes, they'll be more inclined to understand to your side.

What does this career mean for you and for the world? What made you want to pursue it? What are some incredible advances in that industry that you're keen about? Whatever it is, you're obviously super passionate about it to hash it out with your parents.

Now, as a last resort - just crank It's My Life by Bon Jovi. I'm kidding. But good ol' Mr Jovi has a point there. It is your life. Sometimes people won't agree with your choices but if you're really passionate about them, you won't let anyone stand in your way.