The Realities Of Your First Relationship

Being young and in love is probably one of the most exhilarating times in your life. It’s fresh and new + warm and fuzzy all at the same time.

You get your friend to proofread a message before sending it - who knows, it could be too risky, too early on or just a bit out there. You’re nervously waiting on who’s making the first move. Who’s kissing who first? “Am I going to do it wrong?”. Are they just going to be a fling? A highlight of your high school years, maybe? A story to laugh about later? Maybe a life-long partner? Who knows, only time will tell.

You’ve never been brokenhearten, you’ve never hurt someone before, you'll be vulnerable (sometimes good, sometimes bad). You don’t really have any standards, so your first relo is quite an important stepping stone in growing up. If you still haven’t experienced your first love, read below on what you’ll expect. It’s not all heartfelt goodness but trust me, it’s not all doom and gloom either!

We don’t count those two day relo’s in primary school though, sorry Adam.

You’ll probably ditch your mates for a bit

When a relationship is fresh, you’ll want to spent every waking moment with them. You'll plan dates for the weekends, school holidays, time when you're supposed to be studying (oops) but also when your mates want to hang out. They'll get used to it not having you around as much but personally, looking back on my first relo, I wish I spent more time with them. Make sure to never neglect your peeps - they'll be there for you when you need them most!

You can’t force them to change

No matter how much you want somebody to change, they just won't. They're human just as much as you. If you have commited to a relationship, you accept them for who they are, not just what you like about them. Nobody's perfect so do not argue with your partner on this one!

The honeymoon phase doesn’t last forever

It'll go from two-hour phone calls every night to short goodnight messages. They won't surprise you with a massive block of chocolate or a gigantic bear out of the blue anymore. All the adventurous and exciting times don't happen as often. But that's not to say you can't still have fun? You'll cherish those times even more.

Your relationship has matured, you've gained their trust and you can depend on them. You might feel like your relationship is failing at this point but truth be hold, it's actually evolving! Hey, it might not be as spontaneous as it once was but it's a whole lot more rewarding and fulfilling. Plus, who wants a fancy dinner when you could be rugged up sharing a 20 pack of nuggets?

Sometimes you won’t listen to you gut

Trust your instinct. If you feel sick in your stomach, your friends are bringing up red flags and something just doesn't add up - stop over-analysing and either leave or tell your partner what has been bothering you. They'll either provide reassurance or react on the defence, so take off your rose-coloured (and blinding) glasses and listen to your intuition!

You will experience heartbreak (whether it’s breaking up, betrayal or something else)

In one way or another, you'll be heartbroken. Whether that's your first relationship coming to an end or your partner lying to you about something close to your heart. I know, it's hard to grasp, especially if you're in the "nothing could ever go wrong, we're perfect for each other" phase and it'll always happen at the worst times. Once you start to set boundaries (and I strongly encourage you to), they will inevitably be broken. Some things might be dealbreakers, others might be resolved with an argument and your relationship will always grow after you talk it out. Just remember to be prepared!

If they want to make the effort, they will

Stop making excuses for them! If someone wants to be with you, they will and that also goes for the effort they put into the relationship. If you're giving it your all and they keep trying to justify why they aren't doing the same, nuh uh, looks like a red flag to me.

Compromising career opportunities for them

Put yourself first. I'll say it louder for the people in the back. PUT YOURSELF FIRST! Do not give up that acting gig or job promotion because your partner is telling you not to. They should be encouraging your moves, not tearing them down and critising your choices. This isn't High School Musical, this is real life - so much sure to take up any opportunities that'll benefit you and only you!